Boundaries Are Your Friend.

Having the audacity to love and stand up for yourself in a way that honors you and is respectful of those around you is one of the most rewarding and transformative things I’ve been able to experience. Don’t get me wrong, it’s challenging. Especially for someone who lived striving for perfection and attempting to fix everyone and everything. However, embarking on the journey of learning, embracing, and honoring my own wants and needs has truly become the defining challenge of this current season in my life.

I hate to sound cliche’, but I truly believe Maya Angelou said it best, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them.” I would go so far as to say that when you discover or uncover who you are, believe in yourself. Often, we struggle with setting boundaries in our lives because we lack self-awareness and self-love. At other times, we fear losing people due to our boldness in asserting our desires and needs. I know for me, much of my life has been spent trying to blend in and “fit in” in environments where I was meant to shine and make a difference.

Navigating both the coaching and caregiver spaces over the last few years has been illuminating for me. Through this journey, I've come to realize that much, if not all, of my burnout stemmed from my failure to establish clear boundaries and assert how I deserved to be treated. Another big part of that is not accepting that I deserved the same freedoms that others were experiencing. Growing up with a desire to be acknowledged and validated, I adopted the belief that the only way to showcase my dedication, passion, and commitment was by neglecting my own well-being for the sake of others. By tolerating more than I could handle, I inadvertently taught others how to treat me. However, in the past 6-9 months, I've reached a point where I no longer fear rejection or loss because I find my confidence in who God says I am.

I will tell you all, just as I shared with someone dear to me recently: Be brave enough to articulate your wants, needs, desires and requirements. The individuals designated by God to accompany you on your journey and the opportunities God has for you will remain, while those who feel uneasy or unsettled by your empowered presence will drift further and further away. It is acceptable to part ways with them, allowing for space to reflect, grieve (if needed) and finally move forward living in a space that honors the fullness of who you are.

Love + Light.