It’s a New Horizon…
Listen to Fear is not my Future
You ever trusted God for something so much that to everyone else, you look crazy? You feel crazy? It just seems like you are flat out losing your mind? No, well baby I most certain have. It’s so new and different that it’s uncomfortable. BUT at the same time, it’s so necessary.
I have been one to say be careful for the things you pray for because God will give you exactly what you ask for. Often times we pray certain prayers, asking God for certain things, not recognizing that in order to get to the thing(s) that we pray for, we have to go through a process. When you’re in the process, God is only requiring 2 things of you or at least that has been my experience and will be a part of my testimony. God is requiring my faith and my obedience to take me to what’s next for me.
There have been times in my life that because I felt like God was doing something or showing me something or putting things or people in my life, that I got excited and went ahead of Him. I was trying to plan and figure out and lineup and prepare the way for myself, only to end up in a place where none of that worked out and I still had to surrender and say, “God, whatever you have for me, whatever this thing is that is in front of me, whatever role I am meant to play in this person’s life or in this family dynamic, I give it ALL to you. No fear, no anxiety, none of that. I only want to be exactly where you have destined me to be. I only want to be the person you have destined me to become, and allow everything else that you have already destined for me to come to me. (Whew, there’s that surrender thing again lol). What I realized is that when we pray those prayers and God takes us through the process, he does so in a way that when everything is said and done, you have no choice but to say, GOD DID IT!
And in this season, at this very moment, I’ve received so much clarity and confirmation that it is hard for me to do anything but be obedient and take the next step, which for me is to jump out on faith.
I heard this saying “Fear is proof that God has something better in store for you.” That actually makes sense because if God did not place something in your heart, you would not have a fear about not coming into the space where that desire has been fulfilled. Earlier this week I heard a sermon entitled “Don’t Miss the Moment” and the pastor was speaking about the woman with the issue of blood and how things had not quite worked the way she wanted them after all the things she did and all the help she sought out. Though she had every reason to feel defeated and want to quit and give up, she instead leaned into her faith and led with such determination to reach out to Jesus. Once she finally reached Him and touched the hem of His garment, Jesus said, “Daughter, your faith has healed you” and she was healed of an issue she suffered with for 12 years, just like that.
I also think about when Jesus called out to the disciples while they were in a boat. To me it appears as if they were afraid because they did not recognize Jesus, but Peter realized that it was Jesus’ voice calling out to them and he took a step outside of the boat and begin to walk on water. Now I know most people who have heard this story focus so much on the fact that Peter got distracted and took his eyes from Jesus and begin to sink, but in this moment for me, what I saw was Peter displaying his faith by stepping outside of the boat in the first place. Peter was showing his willingness to be where Jesus was regardless of what people deem impossible.
As I reflected on both of those stories, I realized that even when people don’t understand or when they don’t encourage you to do something that feels impossible or different or “out of the box”, if YOU feel that that is WHERE GOD HAS CALLED YOU or is CALLING YOU TO, then you should ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT A DOUBT, GO FOR IT! You should push through even when there is not a plan (for all my planners out there like myself). This is the moment where you have to trust that God is going to do what he said he’s going to do.
Personally for me, these last couple of weeks I’ve hit a space where I could feel the defeat coming, but I wasn’t quite defeated. Then earlier this week or rather over the weekend, it really hit me and (because I am working on my level of vulnerability and did not confide in anyone, including God), I spiraled. I begin to lose hope in things that I know God has shown me, that God has confirmed for me, and that God has prepared for me or is preparing me for. This happened all because I allowed my fear to start speaking louder than my faith and the only thing it kept telling me was that if God didn’t make it happen the way I thought it would or when I felt it should, the he won’t do any of it.
I entitled this blog “It’s a new horizon”, because while I was traveling from Baltimore, MD back to New Orleans, LA, it hit me that it was time to really pack up all of my things and do what Peter and the woman did. To close my ears to the opinions of the world and to shift my focus strictly on God and follow what it is he is leading me to do. So I don’t know what you “boat” is, mine has been my job- and I no longer have that. Other times it has been my finances- and I am not hurting, but it’s not what it used to be. Even sometimes it has been seeking validation from my family and friends to take the next step in my life, as if I am testing what God has placed in my heart.
In this process, it is not fun, actually it’s uncomfortable and you know in my own words, it can be straight up ghetto, but don’t lose faith. It may take for you to lose the job, for you to lose that person, for you to lose a sense of who you are, and your “identity” in order to get to where God is taking you. This does not mean that all those things that you feel you lost will not come back (or you know better will come). You just have to trust and be obedient to where and what God has called you to and everything, every opportunity, and every person that has been assigned to you and you to it will fall into place.
Fear is not my future. Heartache is not my future. Disappointment is not my future. BUT! My faith in God will determine my future. In fact, it is going to bring me into alignment with what God has already prepared for me.
